Family,
Well, I feel like I should warn you, I have a lot of thoughts going through my head right now and they might just all get dumped into this email. My apologies in advance...
First of all, go out and buy a september issue of National Geographic, the cover story is about some gypsie families in Romania. It's super interesting. I've ran into a few of gypsie families like this. It's insane, but super interesting. Read it. It's cool.
This week has been... well, I've learned a lot. A lot. Which is why this email might be a dumping ground for all my thoughts. Sorry. But something that hit me like a ton of bricks, was when the other day, a less active who I love dearly cancelled on us for the third time that week. It broke my heart. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much if every other appointment that week hadn't also cancelled, but regardless it hurt. But I think what hurt me the most is realizing how my Heavenly Father must feel when He gives us so much to grow and blesses us so much and we forget our covenants and we forget Him... how much that must hurt Him. The hurt I experienced isn't even a taste of what we put our Heavenly Father through. And I'm assuming this is a lot what being a mother sometimes feels like and if that's the case, Parents, I'm so sorry for ever making you feel this pain on behalf of my poor choices. It's hard on a lot of different levels, but mostly because I've realized the pain I've put others through, especially -and quite literally- my Savior, because of my forgetting my Heavenly Father and how much he has blessed me despite all the knowledge given and help at my dispense. I'm grateful though, for this recognition. It's hard, but I'm so eternally grateful.
Which brings me to my next point. I've made this transfer "tender mercy transfer" where I write down at the end of my day tender mercies that I experienced throughout the day. IT'S BEEN SO NEAT!!! Seriously. It has. I read this week in 3 Nephi 8 when the Nephites were doubting the coming of the Savior despite all the signs given and for me, this totally relates to me in the sense that sometimes I forget how much my Heavenly Father loves me despite all the signs given to me. (3nephi 8:4). But tender mercy transfer has helped me remember the little blessings that I receive throughout the day that remind me that I am oh so loved by a Father in Heaven. I'm so grateful for it. I might just extend "tender mercy transfer" into "tender mercy year" or "tender mercy life"... I invite everyone to do this. I think you'll be surprised to see how you are blessed throughout the days in the "little" ways. How can we expect to see His face if we cannot even recognize His hand?
General Conference is this week!! GUH! I can't wait. Truly. We are blessed enough to watch the Saturday and Sunday morning sessions live and in english at the senior couples apartment. The rest will be broadcasted in Romanian in a few weeks. But, I'm excited to watch and listen to as much as I can! I've been praying a lot the last few weeks to know how and what I can learn from general conference. So excited:)
So our old people outside of our apartment... I've told you about them. There's one guy, his name is Alexandru, and sometimes (most of the time) we are running out of our apartment to catch the tramvai... and he always says "Numai incet, nu va grabiti!" Which means, only slow, don't hurry!! And this got stuck in my head and I was saying it over and over in my head and it got kind of annoying, but then it reminded me of something Sora Ewell taught me in the MTC. She said that when you're in a hurry, you don't allow the spirit to speak to you. And I thought about this a bit and realized, when I'm in a hurry and someone asks me or tells me to do something, if I even hear them, I usually say "I can't, I'm in a hurry!" Or "I'll do that later!" or.. "Fine, I'll do it, whatever." (usually not in a happy or willing way). I think it's the same with the spirit. When we are in a hurry, we shut ourselves off from the spirit and it's promptings and we place ourselves in a "I'm in a hurry" mindset. If we even hear the promptings of the spirit, we push them off saying we'll do them later, or we grudgingly do it or hurriedly do it to get to the next thing. Probably not the best way to respond to revelation. So, something I'm going to work on... making sure there's time to get everything done I need to get done so that I'm not ever in a hurry and so the pathway to receive promptings is clear. We'll see how that works. Thank you Alexandru and Sora Ewell for being incredible.
Alma 39:11. It's been my theme scripture this week. One of my goals was to always- at all times- look and act like a representative of Jesus Christ (even in my apartment!) This being because of this scripture.
11 Suffer not yourself to be led away by any vain or foolish thing; suffer not the devil to lead away your heart again after those wicked harlots. Behold, O my son, how great ainiquity ye brought upon the bZoramites; for when they saw your cconduct they would not believe in my words.
What do our actions say about who we are? About what our message is? About our gospel and about what we represent as members of the church? Something to think about. Our actions are the first thing people see and I hope my conduct allows them to believe the message of the restoration.
"Never allow your appearance or your behavior to draw attention away from your message or your calling." -White Handbook page 10
"Righteous conduct will influence your effectiveness as a missionary and your personal salvation." -White Handbook page 7
Pretty serious stuff. I love it!
Remember how I had prayed to gain a testimony of proselyting clothes on pday. Prayer answered!! I shared a little about this last week. But oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Elders had such a cool experience last week. They had just left internet and were on the way to the mall (don't worry, I was right behind them!) and someone yelled from a car, "Elders!!!" So the Elders, thinking it was a former investigator, waved and smiled. But then, the car pulled over to the side of the road and two people got out of the car and started running after the elders. Once they finally caught up to them, they found out it was a guy from United States who had served in Hungary and now lives there and works for NuSKIN but his girlfriend lives here in Arad and isn't a member We got her contact information and she is wonderful. Truly. She came to church yesterday and asked if it would be okay if she met with us afterwards and talked about our church. This girl, whether it's now or in the future, will be baptized and will be a dynamite member. And all because the Elders chose to wear their white shirts, ties and nametags on a p-day, which made them easily recognizable to a member of our church from a distance. So neat. Testimony gained. I'm converted to wearing proselyting clothes on pdays:)
So something I've been thinking a lot about this week is something that a speaker in the MTC said. He said that we as members of the church are staking our lives on the restoration. I loved what he said, but I'm not sure I fully grasped it until I listened to a talk Elder Holland gave at a BYU devotional a few years ago. He quoted C.S. Lewis when he said
"You never know how much you really believe anything," he confesses, "until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to [tie] a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn't you then first discover how much you really trusted it? . . . Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief. [Lewis, p. 25]
This made what whoever said that in the MTC that we are staking our lives on the restoration so much clearer. It's so easy to say you know the church is true, but when push comes to shove, do we really? Would we hang on that rope ourselves? How do we even test that rope? How do we find out if that rope will hold us? I think that's one of the reasons God gives us challenges and trials, to show us that that rope is strong enough to hold us if we hold onto it. I know with all my heart that not only can we stake our lives on the restoration of the gospel and that Joseph Smith really did see what he said he saw, but that if we do, we will not be let down. I'm grateful that my mission has brought be to this knowledge even more. But it doesn't take going on a mission to get to this knowledge. (Unfortunately, it did for me). But that knowledge and that trust in the rope is available to everyone. Even before we experience trials, we can test the rope. We can pray, we can read the scriptures, we can ask a loving Heavenly Father who will readily respond, we can listen to General Conference. (which I'm so excited for by the way!) I don't know if this realization made much sense to any of you. But it was a little life changing for me:)
Whoa. This is long and I could go on for a lot longer. I didn't even get to talk about half the things on my list I wrote down. Dang it. Next week:)
Thank you all for your emails and pictures. I love love love them!!! I think I say that every week. I really do love them. :)
I'm doing really well. Truly, I am. I am loving being a missionary. My testimony grows like crazy every single day. Despite the heartache and the disappointments, there's a lot of joy in every single day. Even at the end of the hardest day, I lay in bed at night and would do it all over again if it meant I got to be a missionary for one more day. Thank you for your love, support, and prayers. I promise they're not in vain and I promise I'm doing my best to send it back your way and hope you can feel my love for you.
miss you, love you,
Sora Cook
Few things, Ryan and Wassa- happy anniversary last week. Amy and Nick- happy anni this week!! Hope it's a great week for everyone!!!
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